Love is such a beautiful word, isn’t it? We use it every day—when we speak to family, friends, and loved ones. It’s the word that signifies affection, care, attention, kindness, honor, respect, and above all, acceptance. And while this definition is lovely, true love goes beyond these simple words.
The love we are meant to experience—both for ourselves and for others—is the kind that is unconditional, selfless, and sacrificial. It’s the kind of love that seeks the highest good, both for ourselves and those around us. When we are called to love our neighbors, we are reminded to love ourselves in the same way. But how often do we find ourselves struggling to truly love who we are?
Why is it that we can so easily show kindness to others but hesitate to extend the same gentleness to ourselves? Why are we quick to honor and respect those around us, yet we sometimes fail to recognize our own worth? Why do we adjust our lives to gain the approval of others while neglecting our own needs and well-being?
The truth is, many of us are carrying invisible burdens—hidden wounds that we’ve tucked away for fear of confronting them. These inner struggles often mask themselves behind what seem like acts of love and kindness, but in reality, they’re just coping mechanisms. Without addressing these painful emotions head-on, we risk allowing them to quietly drain the joy from our lives, leaving us stuck in an endless cycle of inner turmoil.
If you find yourself wondering whether you are truly loving yourself, here are some signs that may point to a deeper need for healing:
1. Lack of Self-Awareness
It’s easy to normalize emotional pain, especially if you’ve been living with it for a long time. You may not even recognize that destructive habits or self-neglect are a result of buried wounds. But these wounds are taking a toll on your quality of life, and without realizing it, you might be letting them go unaddressed.
2. Self-Blame
Do you find yourself carrying guilt and shame for things that happened in the past? Maybe you’ve internalized negative experiences, blaming yourself for things beyond your control. Avoiding the painful feelings that arise from facing these memories can leave you feeling heavy, and like you’re carrying the world on your shoulders.
3. Fear of Abandonment
Sometimes, the fear of facing our own emotional wounds can feel like it might cause ripple effects in our relationships. The thought of opening up and healing might bring discomfort or fear of rejection. But avoiding these emotions only makes them more powerful, causing ongoing internal conflict.
4. Self-Justification
When we’ve been hurt or traumatized, it’s easy to justify unhealthy behavior as a result of our past. You might find yourself using your pain to excuse actions or attitudes that aren’t in alignment with your highest self. But in truth, healing comes when we stop blaming others and begin to take responsibility for our own growth.
5. Fear of Being Different
Healing often means change. It means stepping into a version of yourself that may feel unfamiliar, and for some, that’s a scary thought. What if the healed version of you isn’t accepted by those you love? The fear of being different can keep us stuck in old patterns, preventing us from embracing the beauty of growth and transformation.
These are just a few signs that indicate a need for deeper self-love and healing. The truth is, we cannot give the best of ourselves to others until we’ve learned to heal and love ourselves first. We are only able to love others to the extent that we love ourselves. Healing isn’t just about fixing what’s broken; it’s about nurturing and caring for ourselves in the same way we’d care for someone we love deeply.
It’s time to prioritize ourselves, to show ourselves grace and compassion, and to embrace the process of healing. You deserve to experience the fullness of life, and part of that journey begins with loving yourself enough to heal.
If you’re ready to begin this healing journey but feel unsure of where to start, I’m here to help. Please feel free to reach out to me—I would be honored to walk alongside you in this beautiful process of self-love and transformation. You deserve it.
Take that first step, and know that you are worthy of the love and healing you seek. 💖
